Why is self harm good

I feel a lot more confident. I felt that, without them knowing, I was being held back. I no longer feel ashamed as I know people are supporting me. The problems that are causing you to self-harm can, with help and support, become more manageable over time or even go away. Things can and do get better! Take time and be patient with yourself. Start to learn how to care for yourself.

Young people who have recovered from self-harm say that changes over time and changes in circumstances in life for example moving home, changing schools, finishing exams, going to university, changing jobs or changed financial circumstances helped them to recover.

Others explained that recovery was about finding new coping strategies and more helpful ways of dealing with emotions or distress. This is also an important factor towards recovery from self-harm. It dawned on me that continually harming myself was not allowing me to grow; it was just proving that I was still here and I could feel.

Asking for help and having support is very important if you are trying to stop self-harming. It is important that you do this when you feel ready to talk about it. Talking to someone is what is important. For young people used to carrying burdens on their own, it can be hard to receive support. Part of recovery is trusting people enough to let them help you.

Talking to someone you trust can help you discover why you self-harm and help to find new ways to cope with difficulties [25]. Finding out what makes you happy, sad, angry, isolated, vulnerable or strong can help you develop other ways of dealing with these feelings.

Counselling is a good way of exploring these thoughts and feelings and is available through your GP. These techniques find a release for the emotional pressure you feel without the need to harm. If you feel the need to harm yourself, try to give yourself a goal of getting through the next ten minutes without doing so. But the most helpful to my recovery was the five minutes rule, where if you feel like you want to self-harm, you wait for five minutes before you do it, then see if you can go another five minutes, and so on till eventually the feeling that you need to is over.

Self-harm is not a positive way to deal with things. However if you are self-harming it can be difficult to stop, especially when you feel distressed or upset. Wounds and injuries of any type can be dangerous and carry the risk of infection, which can be serious, so they need to be looked after.

If you have serious injury, feel unwell or feel that you are going into shock fast breathing, racing heart, feeling faint or panicked you should seek help immediately.

If you find yourself in this situation, find a trusted adult or friend who can get you the medical attention you need. Many people stop hurting themselves when the time is right for them. It is a huge step towards stopping when they begin to talk about it, because it means that they are starting to think about what might take its place eventually.

You can create a safe box to help you through times when you feel overwhelmed by emotion and have the urge to harm yourself. Fill it with things that make you happy and calm, to help you to get through this feeling.

Some suggestions: activities such as crosswords, your favourite book, CD or movie. You could also include a list of things to do that make you calm when you are feeling triggered. When you are feeling overwhelmed, talk to a friend, family member or trusted adult. Let them know what you are thinking. This can help relieve the pressure that you are feeling. Make a list of people you can talk to at these times and keep it somewhere safe.

Knowing who you can talk to in times of crisis at 3am, weekends or when you are at school can make it easier to ask for help when you need it. Add these to your safe box. This will remind you that you are not alone and there are people you can talk to when you need to. We often drink alcohol or take drugs to change our mood or to avoid our feelings.

Some people drink to deal with fear or loneliness, but like self-harm the effect is only temporary and can end up making you feel worse. This changes how you think and feel, so can increase feelings of anxiety and depression. When it wears off you can end up feeling worse because of the effects it has on your brain and your body.

Drinking alcohol or taking drugs can leave you feeling depressed or anxious, and can lower your inhibitions physically, which can lead you back to harming yourself. Visit www. Remember that there is more to you than self-harm.

Do things that remind you of this and make you happy. Maybe this is a sport, or a hobby you like doing such as writing. Doing things that you enjoy and makes you feel happy, helps you look after your mental health. It helps to improve your self-esteem and can help you remember that you are important and have value.

Many young people who self-harm can be perfectionists and high achievers [31]. You might put pressure on yourself to do things in a certain way, or feel that nothing you do is good enough. Try to not be so hard on yourself about not getting things perfect. If you are worried that someone you know is self-harming, it is important to know what to look out for and what to do.

Below is some information to help you. It can be difficult to tell whether someone is self-harming. Here are some signs that might suggest someone could be self-harming [32]:. Also, there may be no warning signs at all. It is therefore important that if you suspect someone you know is self-harming, that you ask them openly and honestly. If you are worried that someone you know is self-harming, it can be difficult to know what to do.

When you are aware there is an issue, it is important that you do not wait. Waiting and hoping they will come to you for help might lose valuable time in getting them the best support and treatment to help them [33]. Be mindful that they might not feel ready or able to talk about their self-harm. It takes a lot of trust and courage to open up about self-harm.

You might be the first person they have been able to talk to about this. If it is a family member or close friend you are concerned about, they might not want to talk to you. Try not to take this personally: telling someone you love about self-harm can be difficult as you are close to them and they might be worried they are hurting you.

Whether you approach someone you are worried about, or someone opens up to you about their self-harm, it is important that you respond in a non-judgemental, caring and respectful way. This can be hard when you see that someone is in distress, and it can be difficult to understand why someone would hurt themselves, however you should try to see the person and reasons they have harmed themselves rather than focusing on the behaviours.

These pages will tell you a bit about us as well as pointing you in the right direction if you need to contact us or find out more about our policies and procedures. Young Minds - www. Driven by their experiences we campaign, research and influence policy and practice. Helpful telephone numbers include:. Order this publication This booklet aims to help you understand more about self-harm and what to do if you are worried about yourself or someone else. Introduction Self-harm is very common and affects more people than you might think.

With the right help and support most people who self-harm can and do fully recover. What is self-harm? The self-harm cycle Self-harm usually starts as a way to relieve the build-up of pressure from distressing thoughts and feelings.

Who does it? Most young people reported that they started to hurt themselves around the age of Some factors that might make someone more at risk are: Experience of a mental health disorder.

This might include depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and eating disorders. Why do people self-harm? Some of the reasons that young people report as triggers or reasons that lead them to self-harm include [14]: difficulties at home arguments or problems with friends school pressures bullying depression anxiety low self-esteem transitions and changes, such as changing schools alcohol and drug use.

Breaking Down The Myths There are lots of myths attached to self-harm. Getting Help Should I tell someone? Talking to someone is often the first step to getting out of the cycle. Who can I talk to? Young people told us that they have been able to talk to: friends family someone at school, such as a trusted teacher, school nurse or pastoral care staff a youth worker their GP or healthcare professionals such as a counsellor or nurse charities and helplines some of which are listed below.

What help is available for me? How can I stop harming myself? Get some play-dough: stretch it or squeeze it to relieve tension. You may have scars from your self-harm. You may feel embarrassed, ashamed or feel guilty about your scars. Accepting your scars can be an important part of recovery. This can take time. If people see your scars they might ask what happened. They may not realise that you have self-harmed. You might deal with things differently depending on who asks you.

Be honest You may want to tell people that your scars were caused by self-harm. You can tell them as much or as little as you want. You could think about some responses you are happy with. There are ways you can treat and disguise scars if you want to. Most scars will fade over time but will never disappear. Not all of these will suit every type of scar. You can talk to your doctor about your scars and how to deal with them. Keep fresh injuries clean and infection free.

Good first aid or care for your wound can reduce scarring. You may be feeling all sorts of different things if someone you know selfharms. Here are some tips on how to deal with the situation and support the person you care about. Self-harm is the way the person you care for deals with their distress. Be honest with yourself about how the self-harm makes you feel. It is ok to feel whatever you feel. You may feel frightened, uncomfortable and provoked.

Take time to process your feelings around your relative selfharming. Try not to react to stressful or emotional situations with anger or blame. If your relative wants to talk to you about their self-harm the main thing to do is listen to them.

You can ask them what help they want. You may have a better understanding of what the person is going through if you educate yourself. You could contact mental health and self-harm charities for information. Or read books or join a support group. Tell them you care for them if they self-harm or not. If possible, make sure they have a safe place.

Be as available as you can be. Set aside your personal feelings about self-harm and focus on what's going on for them. Be honest and realistic about what you can and can't do. Offer the person support if you think that you can help with something. You may think about removing sharp objects or pills from the house. This can be an option if the person feels suicidal and you need to do something in a crisis. At other times this may not be helpful as for many self-harm is a coping technique.

It is likely to make them feel more alone. Accepting and understanding that someone is in pain doesn't make the pain go away. But it can make it more bearable for them to know that someone understands. Be hopeful about the possibilities of finding other ways of coping rather than self-harm. If they are willing, discuss possibilities for treatment with them. They will decide when they feel the time is right. Be patient. You might find it difficult if the person rejects you at first, but they may need time to build trust.

Take care of yourself. Don't be afraid to take a break. If you are a carer, friend or relative of someone who self-harms, you can get support. You can use online forums, support groups and telephone support services. Support groups for friends and family of people with mental health problems may be useful. While they may not only focus on selfharm, group members will understand how a caring role can affect you. Look in our Useful Contacts section below for contact details of some helpful services or search on the Carers Trust website:.

It explains what they found about why people self-harm and ways to support people. You can download it from their website.

Website : www. You can download it for free from their website. DBT self-help The website has been created by people who have been through dialectical behavioural therapy DBT rather than by health professionals.

The Scarred Soul: Understanding and Ending Self-inflicted Violence — by Jan Sutton This is a book that has new research, statistics, diagrams, some resources, case studies and practical self-help activities.

She writes about what helped her distract herself and overcome her self-harming behaviour. National Self-harm Network An online forum where you can chat with other people affected by self-harm.

Self-Injury Support Offers a helpline service for women of any age who self-harm, as well as text and email services for women under Telephone : Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 7pm — pm Text : Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 7pm — pm. Email: tessmail selfinjurysupport. They have information, support forums. Telephone : Website : www. They provide advice, support and psychosocial services to children, young people and adults.

Open 10am-4pm Monday to Friday. Email : www. Shout can help with urgent issues such as suicidal thoughts, abuse or assault, self-harm, bullying and relationship challenges. Text : Text Shout to Recover Your Life This is an online forum that is run by and for people who self-harm.

They have information and advice about different issues. The Samaritans This is a listening service for anyone in distress including people who self-harm. Volunteers offer a listening service, along with coping strategies and signposting. Telephone : - 5pm to 10pm every night of the year. Text : - 5pm to 10pm every night of the year. Webchat : see website: www. Self-Harm Service This is an NHS national treatment service for people who self-harm a lot and have problems with their relationships with other people.

But the service will only accept you as a patient if you meet their eligibility criteria. You should also ask your GP if your local trust has any self-harm services or look on the trust website. Donate Search Menu. About us About us.

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Get help now. Advice and information About mental illness Learn more about symptoms Self-harm. Self-harm This section looks at what self-harm is and why you may self-harm. If you would like more advice or information you can contact our Advice and Information Service by clicking here. Download Self-harm factsheet. Share: Contact us:. Overview Self-harm is harming yourself on purpose. Such as by scratching, cutting, overdosing on medication, biting or burning.

You may self-harm because you find it difficult to cope with your moods or how you feel. Everyone has their own reasons for selfharming. Drinking a lot of alcohol or taking drugs may increase your risk of self-harm. You are more at risk of death if you self-harm because of accidental suicide. Your doctor can help if you want to stop self-harming. They might refer you for specialist support.

Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can help you selfharm less and make you feel less alone. It can be hard to know how to support someone who self-harms. Being patient and learning about why people self-harm can help. Need more advice? If you need more advice or information you can contact our Advice and Information Service. Contact us Contact us. About What is self-harm?

People self-harm in different ways such as the following. Who self-harms? You are more likely to self-harm if you: have a mental health issue such as: depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, or an eating disorder, have a substance abuse issue, are female, are a young person, are in prison, are an asylum seeker, are a veteran of the armed forces, are gay, lesbian or bisexual, have lost a loved one through suicide, or are a survivor of physical, emotional or sexual abuse as a child or as an adult.

Why do I self-harm? These reasons may change over time. You may self-harm to manage feelings Being overwhelmed by feelings is a common reason that people selfharm. You may self-harm to communicate You may self-harm to try and show others how you feel. You may self-harm to have control Self-harm can be a way of feeling in control of your body or your environment. You may self-harm to punish yourself You may self-harm to punish yourself for feelings or behaviours that you think are your fault.

Do people self-harm more than once? But self-harm can increase your risk of suicide. You may unintentionally end your life. Disclosing self-harm How can I tell someone I self-harm? Below are some things to think about when you are going to tell someone. Who do I tell? For example, you may want to tell: a friend or family member, your GP, someone on an emotional support line, where you can remain anonymous if you prefer. What do I tell them?

When do I say it? Where do I tell them? Why am I telling them? You might tell them because: you want to share that you self-harm or why you do it, you might feel that you have given them the wrong impression about how you feel or why you self-harm, or you want support to stop self-harming.

What do I do if they struggle to understand? The two main ways recommended by NICE to manage self-harm are: Short term management of self-harm, and Long term management of self-harm.

There is no safe way to self-poison. Your GP should still monitor your physical health. Long-term management of self-harm If you need long-term management for your self-harm, your GP may offer you an assessment with your local community mental health team CMHT. This should contain information such as: how to stop your self-harm from getting worse, how to reduce or stop harm caused by your-self harm, how to lessen risky behaviours, how to improve your ability to function, and how to improve your quality of life.

Your care plan should also: identify goals that you would like to achieve in life, such as employment goals, identify team members and what they should be doing for you, include a risk management plan, identify short term goals linked to your-self harm, and be shared with your GP. It should look at: current risk, long term risk, things that increase your risk of self-harm, and a crisis plan.

You may be offered: cognitive behavioural therapy, psychodynamic therapy, or problem solving therapy. Your therapist should help you understand the reasons why you self-harm.

Ending care with the specialist mental health team When your treatment and care is due to end professionals should: tell you what is likely to happen when your care ends tell you ahead of time so that you can get used to the change give you extra support if you need it, make sure you have a clear crisis plan in place, share your care plan with any other professionals who are taking over your care, give you a copy of your plan and what has been agreed, and give your family or carer a copy of the plan if you agree You can find more information: Talking Therapies by clicking here.

Care Programme Approach by clicking here. Medication — choice and managing problems by clicking here. What if I am not happy with my treatment? It's likely that everyone knows somebody—or they were the person, or they still are the person—that hurts themselves. Self-harm, through self-inflicted burns, cuts, or other means , is surprisingly common, practiced by roughly 20 percent of women and 14 percent of men, says science journalist Carrie Arnold in a story for Aeon.

Most people have a strong aversion to deliberately injuring their bodies. But for some people, writes Arnold, an odd connection in human brains means that bodily injury provides a sort of temporary relief from emotional turmoil:. Pain relievers also act on these two areas, regardless of whether someone is experiencing emotional or physical pain.

A study in Psychological Science revealed that the pain relievers such as Tylenol or paracetamol acetaminophen helped to relieve the distress associated with social rejection and also decreased activity in the anterior insula and the anterior cingulate cortex.